Saturday, February 17, 2018

Valuable insights

I value my eyesight above all of my other senses. Sound and touch can convey necessary information but they can not allow you to become immersed in a book or a movie or even nature. For that you need sight.

Why am I mentioning this? I went to get my yearly eye test, it is a requirement of a person with diabetes, this week. I was diagnosed a couple of years ago but didn't make many changes in what I ate and drank. This past week changed that.

During my exam the optometrist asked if my sugars had been fluctuating? I told her I didn't know because I only got my blood tested when it was time to go see the doctor. She next asked me if I had noticed any fluctuations in my eyesight as fluctuating level can affect the eyes in a diabetic person. Since this had been happening I listened for the first time and actual began to pay attention to my brain and body during the day.

In the week since I have stopped drinking coffee, I ran out, and have been drinking green tea. I have also stopped putting maple syrup on bread and calling it a sandwich as well as several other bad habits I had. I have noticed that my vision stays clear until I get tired which makes the sacrifices more than worth it.

Who knew? I've also been looking for the meter I bought a couple of years ago but so far no luck. If I don't find it during the packing I will have to replace it somehow. That is a problem for a later date.

Thursday, February 1, 2018


You know it, I know it but how to help someone else to develop their own coping skills especially a young adult with far too much responsibility and few social skills with their own peer group.

I  love this young adult as if she were my own and I want to help. The basic problem is that I am not a good role model for the social skills and the depression has been a part of my life for so long I don't know what life looks like without it. If you recognize this young adult please don't call her that will only make the situation worse.

What causes Depression?

I am not going to fill this post with a lot of medical talk suffice it to say that a lot of things can cause it but in my case, at least, it is not a life event but a ongoing problem in my brain. To find out about it read the article by the Harvard Medical School article linked in the title. It is also hereditary, go figure, my dad had it, I have it, both my children have it and the girl probably has it.

The treatment is medication but first she has to see a psychiatrist and get diagnosed. This seems to be a difficulty for her for some reason.

Once the medication becomes active she then needs to find ways to cope when the bad days come. Hopefully the professional from the first part will help her with these if not I will.

She is concerned that she has dyslexia, this concern is adding to her stress join this with a certain social awkwardness and you have a person who is very messed up. My role as always is to act as a friendly ear and a shoulder to cry on to help her begin to see the trees not just the debris in front of her.

Once she can see the tree then maybe she can begin to see the forest and where she fits into it.

What can I do?

1) provide a friendly ear, an open mind and a loving heart
2) assist with getting her the appointment she needs at the hospital

What else?
Teach her some of the easier coping methods for when she feels like she's drowning or whatever it feels like to her

Help her to get testing done to determine if she does have dyslexia and which flavour /s. (Found out in my reading that the psychologist/psychiatrist can help her with this testing as dyslexia is also brain based)

Well I've done a lot of reading and writing so now I just need to wait until she gets here and do what I do best listen and give advise.

Monday, January 22, 2018

In the Dark

I just can't seem to get my head into the right space this year at all. I know it's only January but I feel like I'm drifting. Staying in bed past noon yet during the night I wake up several times to go to the bathroom. I've been having fights in my dreams and that usually only happens when I'm feeling stressed. The thing is during the day I don't feel stressed so much as I feel bored and restless. Listless almost though I can still focus for a little while at least on a book or a game.

Its so confusing, I know I am probably having a depression episode but ... It's too early in the year for the February Blahs and I have no idea what else might have kicked it up. Actually now that I think about it I wonder if it has something to do with my son spending a couple of days in jail after eight years without any problems. That could have triggered it, now I just gotta find a way to get myself back.

If you know depression you know what I mean. I thought hey I'm doing great only a few days ago but in the intervening days something changed and I'm back to dragging my ass. I want to scream but I don't even have the energy for that. 

Friday, January 19, 2018

When Breathe Becomes Air - A quick book review

I have never been one to read autobiographies but I am glad I have read this one. Had it not been on the Paper & Glam Reading List for 2018 I would not have.

If you have looked back you will have noticed that I accept death and have been prepared for it for awhile though I really need to do the money stuff. This man's courageousness blew me away.

A Teaser:

At the age of thirty-six, on the verge of completing a decade’s worth of training as a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. One day he was a doctor treating the dying, and the next he was a patient struggling to live. And just like that, the future he and his wife had imagined evaporated. 

What makes life worth living in the face of death? What do you do when the future, no longer a ladder toward your goals in life, flattens out into a perpetual present? These are some of the questions Kalanithi wrestles with in this profoundly moving, exquisitely observed memoir. Paul Kalanithi died in March 2015, while working on this book, yet his words live on as a guide and a gift to us all.

I hope you read it! 

Sunday, January 14, 2018

January 14th

Do you remember the flylady? I got so angry with how I was not taking care of my home that I decided to go see if she was still there. She is! Check it out FlyLady

FlyLady cartoonThis web site helped me take care of a huge 3 story house so I am sure she will be more than helpful with my little bachelor. Yesterday I "shined my sink" for the first time in ages. I like the daily theme and I love the daily missions. It will feel great to have my mess back under control again.

She also has a section on self care so that was a bonus as that is one of my main goals this year. I realized near the end of last year that I run to help others all the time but I seldom take the same care of myself as I do others. This year I want to do that!

I have been going back and looking at several self help books I have. I want to start using them again. Oh FYI Kindle has a free reader for computers, you don't have to buy a tablet, I use it all the time.

The Artist's WayI have the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron which I completed several years ago on my Kindle but I am thinking this year I may do the second one Walking in the World which I have in paper form. I have also been thinking I'd like to go back and redo some of the homework questions again from the Artists Way. I do not think I have forgotten any of the lessons it taught me but it never hurts to take a refresher now and then

19370865The Crafter's Devotional is a year long program that gives you a lift when you are having Artist block, this year I am reading it again as I feel I've lost some of my creative juice over the last few years. It like the Flylady has different themes, in this case six as the weekend is combined. Each one focuses on a different part of being creative like learning new techniques and occasionally new to you crafts.

6921303The Spark is a 28 day program that will help you along the weight loss path. I was a member for a year and lost 20 lbs but then I stopped going. This year I will begin again by reading the book then go back to the web site and begin keeping records and getting advice again. The have a strong, enthusiastic membership that helps each other and I miss that.

748862Simple Abundance I come back to year after year. Sometimes in the middle of the year I'll open it to that days entry and find comfort in the words. It is also a day by day reading and activity book that will help you simplify your life and find more joy in it. Yes I am a devotee. She has others but I have yet to read them as this one suits me. You know all that stuff about living seasonally that is suddenly the new thing well guess what she was there first.

1452834And the last one "The Woman's Retreat book by Jennifer Louden. Again there are other books by this author but this is the one I wanted. I can't afford to go on a big spiritual retreat much as I would like to, this is the next best thing in my opinion. The paper version is a bit easier to use but as a Kindle book I can take it anywhere and it doesn't take up any room. It offers ideas for simple half-hour retreats to 2 day long ones that you can do at home. Sometimes you just need to spend some time with yourself.

Guess I better stop there I still have a ton more things to share but I figure this is enough for anyone for one day. Hugs!

Monday, January 8, 2018

January 8, 2017

Hmmm a word of warning friends, CRA reads blogs and Facebook and other social media looking for cheaters.

This evening I received a call from The Professor because they had called him. Seems that if he is my husband they can make him pay back all of my ODSP for the last four years. I mean really?

We never even had a wedding though we did live together for a few years except that I left in 2007 and haven't been back. He was and is my best-friend and we talk nearly every day on the phone. I call him my ever-lovin' cause he is always there when I need a hand with things. He does the same for my daughter and grand-daughter because he is a caring person and me and mine are one of his projects.

Now this has made me actually think about what I'm writing instead of going with the flow. I wish the government stayed out of our bedrooms and our blogs.

What I can't figure why they were even looking at me, I've only been on ODSP for four years before that I was on welfare because I've not been able to get a job for ten years due to the Fibro and depression.

It makes no sense what-so-ever.

OK turns out this is a scam of some sort. If you get a call from someone purporting to be CRA and they give you the number of a lawyer to call it is a scam. CRA doesn't do that. Just a FYI

Thursday, January 4, 2018

January 4, 2018

Did I try to do this last year? I'm not sure.

I'm getting tired so I'm going yo be playing my dailies from Microsoft Solitaire soon, right after I take my night meds. I pulled out an old journal today, one I started maybe 15 years ago but never filled. I did three pages in it today and I'm hoping to finish it this year. Today I did three snowmen. One made with crayons, one made from washi tape and one from newspaper. I'll note it in my bullet journal to take a pic of them to share here. I'll upload them tomorrow.

Its only 8:30 but I am tired. I figure I'll be in bed by 10 or so.